no words yet just a feeling…
this is where my g-uncle used to be sent by my g-aunt to when he was feeling a little too ‘SPIRITed’… hahahahaha
that was a very long while ago.
dad’s letting me renovate it for a sewing workshop. i’m doing the work (his health prevents more), he’s ‘learning’ me on what to do. little niece and i ripped out and hauled away the drywall yesterday.
last week we cleaned it all out. it was jam packed with stuff… boxes, cans, spiders and webs.
today i get up on the roof.
in new mexico now.
been here for a minute.
trying to experience everything.
seeing. being. letting.
a sudden move it was.
bought the ticket and blam… i was here.
i read at jude’s (or grace’s or???) a comment referring to one jude’s classes and choosing your ‘own’ symbol several days ago.
i’d thought of this before, but nothing came of the thought. until several days ago.
the circle. but i thought it too simple. too generic.
then last night i came across a mathematics and science paper on The Circle. on a news feed. randomly.
and i’d thought only of negatives. going round and round in circles. chasing your tail. vicious cycle.
but there’s more.
found in nature existing independent of human thought.
in ripples in a pond, the sun and moon, the iris of the eye.
and the circumpunct, according to the scouts, signals the end of the trail. gone home.
how do you stitch from pain?
or did i ever know?
trying to let something come through. maybe it’s in the trying.
ahhh the tears transformation pad
or maybe it’s work for a beast. or two.
over the past several days, i’ve been exposed to words that have shifted my perception.
been reading so many blogs that have so much in their new year’s posts (and comments!).
being in the NOW…
journeys tracks time…
round back to HOME…
i’ve seen these concepts before of course, but hearing them now in this leg of the journey seems to be the key.
the reality of there being this one moment has re-penetrated.
the importance of that being all there is. and that each moment takes care of itself.
moments seem to be important to me right now. sneaking moments here and there. and investigating why the perception of ‘sneaking’ is. this too has had a light shone on it through the BOOK grace has given me.
feeling that at any moment i may not be free to have this last holdout of me. stitching. a remnant of an image of my handmade life. thoughts of a life made by my own hands. of my own fashioning.
that at every moment, there’s a boogey man lurking just behind my shoulder waiting to take it all away. again.
but in THIS moment he is not here. i am sitting here on this computer typing FREE. free to type to stitch to read. and those moments are REAL, not fleeting, as my perceptions would have me believe.
and the last words i just read were :the word moment is rooted in the Latin word momentum:
moment –> momentum –> movement
moment is not a holding on to for dear life thing. it is an enjoying it for what it is thing. a thing that can propel me into the next one. and into the next…
i think this will be my thought beginning this new year/block of time…